Tuesday, October 20, 2015

Identity

While reading Identity in Context by Nakkula and Toshalis it spoke about how “our goal is to help educators move beyond an understanding of adolescent identity development and toward constructive ideas for promoting such development through their everyday interactions (pg 17).”
Context mapping is an approach to design in which designers use people’s everyday lives to inform and inspire themselves for ideation.  While thinking about my own context map I had to categorize it by categories such as home, school, work and social. 




Four different identities would be achieved identity, foreclosed identity, moratorium and diffuse identity.  “Foreclosed identity status is one in which an individual has committed to a life direction or way of being without exploring it carefully and without experimenting with alternatives (Nakkula and Toshalis p29)”.  While I was growing up I had a foreclosed identity status when I was choosing what vehicle to drive.  My parents, sisters and relatives have always had a Toyota so when it was time for me to buy a car; I went straight to a Toyota dealership.  No questions asked on the brand of car I was going to get, only idea I pondered was what type.  I went for the Corolla; my new baby and at that point forward I was part of the norm in my family of going with Toyota. 


“Diffuse Identity status is a state in which there has been little exploration or active consideration of a particular identity and no psychological commitment to one” (Nakkula and Toshalis p32).  This is considered to accompany adolescents and how they struggle with emotional problems to identify themselves. 

Life story

While writing my life story as a 27-year-old woman I had never thought to be strong again.  Through hard times growing up in my elementary days going back and forth to court with my parents that is all that I remember from that time frame.  I wish that I remembered friends, things that I had done, and accomplishments.  However, the only things that I could remember from back then was being scared, running and always disappointing others.  Through life and always feeling this way I had tried to be better then that and run as fast as I could away from being scared and being a disappointment.  Finally, I broke free from a person who was a staple in my life and I saw the light.  The light of happiness, “why am I going to be sad when life itself is not sad?”  I then tried my hardest to make other people happy then it was killing two birds with one stone.  I’m not disappointing people or myself and I’m making people happy.  My mother was my rock and when I needed it she was there to help me through the hard times with hugs, cuddles and chocolate of course.  

People who have constructed my life story:
God
Mother
Father
Dad
Keith
Sisters
Paddy’s employees
General Manager

October 6, 2000 my mother was remarried to a wonderful man who I immediately called dad.  He was the man that was my daddy, the man that I never had in my life to protect me through life’s harm.  We would do family events together and he even taught me things that I had never done before.  Most importantly, if I needed him he was always there and did not ask questions or make up an excuse as to why I asked him.  He was now part of my foundation in which I had dreamed of all my life.  Since this was possible I was able to build memories and finally grow within myself. 
The day my life changed and my heard became complete with a mother and father!
February 20, 2009, is a date in which my life changed forever.  I was awoken by my cell phone ringing repeatedly at 3 o’clock in the morning.  I could have never wondered what was so important at that time.  “He’s dead, he’s dead, he shot himself, he’s dead” these words I will never be able to remove from my mind.  My friend Evan was gone forever.  He called me at 11 o’clock the night before calling me to go out for my birthday and I turned him down because I was visiting my uncle who was in the hospital.  I double guess that decision whenever I think of him.  The man who always put other people in front of him, ran into burning buildings and saved peoples lives.  All day I was at the fire house going on calls and trying to take my mind off of what had happened; when my phone started ringing again.  My sister was in the hospital being tested for she was 27 years old and had just suffered a heart attack.  I immediately went to check on her and was “welcomed” by my aunt unfortunately informing me that my uncle had passed away after I had left the hospital the night before.  I dropped to the floor, un able to move.  My friend and uncle had passed away on the same day and my sister had confined a secret of her health that changed my life forever. 
The last Fire/Ambulance banquet we went to

After being broken down in so many ways, I now always focus my energy on the good that is happening.  Family, friends and God has helped me through the hard times in life.  They are helping me write and rewrite my story.  I look forward to helping others and always showing the positive side because anyone can be having a bad day and I want to change that; even if it is with a smile.      

(Checked to write this on Saturday.  It was not posted)